End of one, beginning of another

So, today is the last day of eating as I have known it all my life.  This weekend I have had ample opportunities to "go crazy" and eat whatever I want.  Amazingly, I have not.  Even going out to dinner last night, I ate healthy, and not too much.  Today, I am almost afraid to eat...tomorrow I start the 10 day liquid diet.  I am very emotional today.  Have been crying quite a bit.  Why?  Not really sure why.  I am nervous, scared...not about the procedure at all...I guess about shutting one door and going through another.  It still amazes me how "mental" eating was for me.  Sure, we need it for survival...not in the quantities I consumed though.  Eating felt good.  Eating was a band aid.  Eating was an addiction.  Okay, I said it.  Addiction.  I am not addicted to drugs or alcohol, or anything else that I know of, except, for food.  So, my fear?  Is that food is going to be my enemy, that food is going to make me fail. Like so many times in my life, I failed at diets. That really sucks, because we need food to survive.  So how does one control their addiction to something that is necessary for survival?  I guess the answer for me is restriction.  I cannot trust myself to restrict myself...hence the decision for LapBand.  I need this tool, this assistive device, to help me get over my addiction~or at least control it.  The end result?  My health.  I want to be as healthy as I can be, and want to keep up with my kids.  I don't want to be a "fat mom"~I want to teach my kids so that they don't have a weight problem like me.  Gosh, there are SO many reasons to do this...I just have to buck up and do it.  For ME!!!  And for them...and for anyone else that has this problem, if I can do it, anyone can!  So, I am gonna do it!
Thank you to my many friends and family that loves me and supports me~that will definitely help me to get through the door and on my way on this new journey.

Peace and health,
Melissa