Surprise

I have not written in nearly 2 weeks.  On Wednesday, April 13th, I started having tremendous pain in my abdomen and chest that radiated all over and gave me a headache as well.  I tried to just suck it up, but ended up in the ER by late morning.  I was admitted to the hospital and many many tests were run to rule out cardiac, blood clots, kidney dysfunction, etc.  All tests were negative.  I spent Thursday in a drugged fog, and they did more tests.  Negative.  That is good, but, still in pain.  Was discharged from the hospital Friday.  At home, anytime I tried to eat something small/soft, I would feel like I had to throw up.  I would heave, but not actually throw up. This was VERY painful. Saturday, this continued, so I just stopped eating.  Called the exchange, and the nice doctor on call instructed me to "just get through it (like labor pains)" and call my doctor on Monday.  Okay...so, after taking pain meds and a little valium(to relax me, try to reduce spasms), I tried a little soup Sat night.  It felt good to eat.  I thought I was in the clear.  I even nibbled on some very small pieces of bread, thinking that would be okay since I am in phase 3 now and no longer on liquids.  Wrong.  Within 30 minutes, I had that feeling, you know, the waterworks in the back of your throat...got up, started heaving like never before, felt like that LapBand was going to come up my throat and choke me.  So much pain, I couldn't catch my breath.  Almost passed out, Lisa helped me to the bed.  I told her I felt like I was dying.  Sounds pretty dramatic, but I really DID feel like that because I couldn't breathe.  She called 911, and paramedics took me by ambulance back to the hospital.  Fortunately for me, the same ER nurse was there, and jumped into action immediately.  They moved me off the stretcher, and I started heaving all over again.  She got an IV into me and pain med right away.  I was concentrating on my breathing like I was having a baby.  The ER doc came in and had spoke with Dr. Minkin.  They were to admit me.  I had emergency surgery Sunday and he took the LapBand out.

Wow...I would have never expected this.  All of my excitement, hard work, liquid diet, mental anguish, etc...and now it is out?  Though everything I had gone through, I was okay with having it out.  I could not live like this.  I still had trouble after surgery.  Couldn't eat.  Could barely drink.  Many more swallow tests and an endoscopy done.  "Everything looks good."  Why did this happen then?  Why did my body reject the Band?  The only answers that make sense is that perhaps I had an allergic reaction to the Band.  For some reason, my body did not WANT that Band in.  Trouble is, I am still having issues.
 
I was finally released from the hospital Wednesday, the 20th.  Still on pain meds, and a med to reduce spasm of smooth muscle.  It helps, but it is going to be a while before I am in good shape.
I have come to my own conclusion...my body has been traumatized with 2 surgeries in less than 3 weeks time, not to mention that foreign object that was in there...my body is still reacting with spasms in my stomach and esophagus...I just have to give it time.  I am going for one more test next Tuesday, but not really expecting to get a diagnosis of any sort.   I am expecting to hear the same thing "everything looks good."  Which is GOOD by the way, I just hope that I get better soon, and don't have any long lasting problems.  I have to be patient...that is difficult.  I feel like I am in a holding pattern.  I want to get on with life. This has been quite an ordeal.

I have to remember that I am very blessed and fortunate though...to my partner, my mother, my sister Julie...and my family that has stood by me and helped and supported me.  Especially thankful to Lisa, as she has taken on EVERYTHING...her load is very heavy right now.

This will pass.  I will get better.  I will still lose the weight.  Damn, I got through so much of the mental stuff already.  I can't wait to feel better, start working out again...get back to work, life goes on.  So, I won't have the LapBand to help me.  I will do it on my own.  I know what to do.  Might take me a little longer, but maybe not.  I am already down nearly 40 lbs from the beginning of this year.  That is a good start. Not that it was pleasant at all losing most of that the way I did...haha...but I am ready.  In my heart and in my mind, I am ready.  I have a great support system, and we are all going to help each other reach our goals.

I wish the best of health and happiness to everyone out there reading this.  Even through the tough times, know that you can get through it with the right mental attitude.  Oh, and a little patience :)

Peace and Health,
Melissa.